Embracing Authenticity: Setting Boundaries and Protecting Your Energy

Jan 13

woman sitting on a chair looking in the mirror

Introduction: Why Authenticity Matters

Have you ever found yourself second-guessing your every word or action in your online content, worried about how others might perceive you? For many women, this has become a norm, especially in recent years. The growing divisions in societal conversations have left us walking on eggshells, afraid that expressing our true selves might offend someone or lead to criticism.

Pair this with the pervasive “victim mentality” that encourages staying small and blaming external forces (and categorizing yourself endlessly), and it’s no wonder women often feel stifled. The result? We suppress our voices, compromise our values, and feel increasingly disconnected from who we really are.

Social Media platforms also keep us in an echo chamber of small algorithms so that all we hear and see are opinions that mirror our own. It becomes so very easy to assume that everyone else thinks like you, and only an (fill in the blank: idiot, crazy person, uneducated simpleton) would have that opinion.

Authenticity is the antidote to this. By embracing your true self—your values, voice, and boundaries—you unlock the potential for a life and business that feel truly aligned.

I’ve walked this path myself, choosing to stop “tiptoeing” around others’ expectations, and it has made all the difference.

You can also choose not to virtue signal your opinion on the biggies (religion and politics). Let me share how you can do the same.

The Importance of Authenticity

Why Staying True to Yourself Matters

At its core, authenticity is about living in alignment with your values and beliefs, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s not about being perfect or pleasing everyone; it’s about showing up as you are and trusting that you’re enough.

Here’s why authenticity is non-negotiable:

It Builds Trust: When you’re authentic, people know what to expect from you, and they’re more likely to trust and respect you.
It Reduces Stress: Pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting. Authenticity allows you to not over analyze everything your put out there online.
It Creates Deeper Connections: True relationships—personal and professional—are built on honesty and vulnerability.

But let’s face it: staying authentic is hard, especially when societal pressures encourage conformity.

The Impact of Societal Divisions

Recent years have been marked by growing social and cultural divides, making authenticity feel riskier than ever. Many women hesitate to share their thoughts or pursue bold decisions because of:

Fear of Offending Others: The pressure to cater to everyone can lead to self-censorship.
Judgment Culture: Worrying about being misinterpreted or criticized often holds women back.

Victim Mentality and Its Consequences

Compounding this is the victim mentality, which can create a mindset of helplessness. When we’re constantly told that circumstances control us, it becomes harder to take ownership of our choices and express ourselves authentically.

Recognizing these forces is the first step toward breaking free and reclaiming your voice.

Authenticity Without Oversharing

Being authentic doesn’t mean you have to share every aspect of your life or express your stance on polarizing topics like politics or religion. As a business owner, your authenticity is rooted in how you show up, not in divulging personal opinions that could alienate others.

I’ve found that some of my closest friends don’t share my political or religious beliefs, yet we connect deeply because of our shared values and moral compass. These commonalities—like integrity, kindness, and mutual respect—are the foundation of authentic relationships.

When it comes to your business:

Focus on Core Values: Highlight what your brand stands for rather than taking a stance on divisive issues.
Respect Differences: Embrace diversity in perspectives while staying true to your personal and business identity.
Build Bridges, Not Walls: Authenticity isn’t about being the loudest voice; it’s about creating meaningful connections rooted in mutual understanding.

By focusing on shared values, you can maintain authenticity without feeling pressured to wade into contentious discussions. This approach not only protects your peace but also fosters stronger, more inclusive relationships with clients and colleagues.

Creating Boundaries with Authenticity

Why Boundaries Are Essential

Authenticity isn’t about baring your soul to the world—it’s about showing up as your true self while protecting your energy, values, and well-being. Creating boundaries is a powerful way to maintain authenticity without feeling overexposed, especially in today’s hyper-connected world.

Protecting Yourself

During the spring of 2020, I was in an online mastermind with about 25 other women entrepreneurs. When the George Floyd riots started happening around the US, it was a virtue-signaling trend to put a “black square” on your Instagram profile to show you supported the BLM movement. Having chosen early on in my business that I would never post about politital, religious, or divisive societal conversations, I did not participate in the trend. I posted something in this mastermind’s FB group about how I was comfortable not doing so as I don’t rely on the approval or notice of others to stay true to my beliefs and values.

I had one particularly shrieking, beligerent, hot mess of a woman in this group demand for me to publicly state in this group what conversations I was having with my children about BLM.

Block, delete. (To her credit, she messaged me many months later to apologize. This is another lesson - accepting an apology and forgiving does not mean you have to open the door to that person again.)

It was during that time that we also started experiencing extreme danger to our family and home due to living in Portland, OR and my hubby still being in law enforcement at the time. I made the categorical decision to scrape my social media (mainly Instagram) of all pictures of my children for safety reasons.

Being a mother is another area where I’ve chosen to set serious boundaries. Motherhood is the entire reason I’ve been able to hone my productivity skills, get more done in less time, and have an entirely different perspective on success and priorities. But over the years, I’ve watched online marketing and social media start tiptoeing around Mother’s Day in fear of not recognizing or dismissing others’ feelings.

I get it—Motherhood is a multi-layered minefield for so many women (myself included). And as such, I choose not to engage with the tiptoeing or feel obligated to footnote every statement to accommodate every possible person's feelings.

I understand different perspectives and experiences, but I also know I’m not responsible for others’ feelings. This is one of the many boundaries I’ve set—to keep some parts of my life private and most of my opinions to myself.

Deciding What to Put Online

Social media has blurred the lines between professional and personal life, making it challenging to know where to draw the line. Here’s how to navigate this as a business owner:

Define Your Comfort Zone: Decide in advance what topics are off-limits for you—whether it’s your family life, political views, or other personal matters.
Focus on Relevance: Share content that aligns with your brand values and serves your audience. If it doesn’t contribute to your mission, it might not need to be shared.
Use Filters for Privacy: Utilize privacy settings to limit access to certain posts or create personal accounts separate from your business presence.
Take a Breath Before Posting: Before hitting "share," ask yourself: Does this align with my business values? Will it add value to my audience?

Setting boundaries doesn’t mean being secretive; it means protecting your space and energy so you can show up authentically where it matters most. By choosing what and how much you share, you can maintain professionalism while still building meaningful connections.

Authenticity in Practice

How to Live Authentically Every Day

Authenticity isn’t a one-time choice—it’s a daily practice that requires intentionality and courage. Here’s how to make it part of your life:

Set Clear Boundaries: Decide what behaviors, requests, or tasks you will no longer tolerate, and communicate these boundaries clearly.
Communicate Honestly: Whether it’s sharing your true feelings with a friend or being upfront with a client, honesty strengthens relationships.
Align Actions with Values: Regularly check if your decisions and actions reflect the person you want to be.
Celebrate Your Wins: Recognize the times you chose authenticity, no matter how small—they matter!

The Role of Reflection

Reflection is essential for staying authentic. Take time to journal on prompts like:

Where am I holding back out of fear of judgment?
What does living in alignment with my values look like today?
Am I seeking validation from others in this scenario?

Overcoming the Fear of Offending Others

Embrace the Fact That You Won’t Please Everyone

One of the hardest truths to accept is that no matter how careful you are, someone will disagree with you. The good news? That’s okay. Your goal isn’t to make everyone happy—it’s to live a life that feels true to you.

Here’s how to move past the fear of offending others:

Focus on Your Intentions: Are your actions rooted in kindness and integrity? If so, let go of the outcome.
Recognize the Right Fit: Not everyone will align with your values, and that’s a good thing—it helps you find your true tribe.
Take Responsibility, Not Blame: If someone misinterprets your authenticity, it doesn’t mean you did something wrong.

Pause and Reflect Before Reacting

In today’s fast-paced digital world, it’s easy to react emotionally to something that offends or upsets you. However, authenticity doesn’t mean reacting out of anger or offense—it means responding in a way that aligns with your values, both personally and professionally.

Before posting or reacting, ask yourself:

Am I acting out of anger or alignment? Is this response driven by frustration, or does it reflect my true values and the message I want to convey?
What is my intention? Am I trying to add value or start a meaningful conversation, or am I venting in a way that could harm my brand or relationships?
Will I feel proud of this later? Consider how your post or response will be perceived down the road. Does it reflect the person and professional you aspire to be?

Taking a moment to pause and evaluate your motivations can help you stay true to your authenticity without letting temporary emotions dictate your actions. Remember, your voice is most powerful when it’s intentional and aligned with your values.

Conclusion: Reclaim Your Voice

The world we live in might encourage silence, conformity, or playing it small, but you don’t have to follow that script. Authenticity is your superpower—it empowers you to live boldly, connect deeply, and succeed on your own terms.

By setting boundaries and letting go of the fear of offending others, you can break free from societal pressures and victim mentalities that hold so many women back.

The world doesn’t need you to be perfect or palatable; it needs you to be you.

What does authenticity mean to you? Have you faced challenges in expressing your true self? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear how you’re reclaiming your voice and thriving in your own way.

Have a question or a takeaway from what I’ve shared here?

Let’s chat in the comments ⤵