Letting Go of Goals to Embrace Self-Trust
Weâre all familiar with the New Year, New You hype: âSet big goals! Make this your year!â Social media and self-help gurus urge us to go faster, aim higher, and achieve more. They shame you into signing up for their intense programs, download more checklists, and make it sound like itâs so easy if you just want it bad enough.
But letâs pause and ask: Is this really working for us?
For many, traditional goal-setting feels like an endless cycle of performance without purpose.
Itâs time for a new approachâone rooted in trusting yourself, embracing mindful choices, and focusing on presence over perfection.
This year, instead of chasing goals and jumping through hoops, Iâm committing to a mindset shift.
Iâm keeping promises to myself, slowing down, and showing up in a way that feels aligned with my values and personal growth.
And I invite you to join me.
Why Traditional Goal-Setting Is Broken
The problem with goal-setting isnât the idea itselfâitâs how we often approach it. Too often, goals become about performance rather than transformation. They prioritize external validation over internal alignment, leaving little room for genuine, lasting change.
Here are some personal examples:
Fitness Goals: In 2005/06, I completed two triathlons, a half marathon, and several shorter races. But when I got injured, I stopped running altogether. The goals were met, I got the accolades, but they didnât create a lasting habit or lifestyle change.
#75Hard Challenge: For my 41st birthday in 2021, I completed the #75Hard challenge. I checked every box, but the habits didnât stick because they were tied to the challenge and the performance of it. The long checklist of to-doâs were not aligned with my priorities or sustainable.
Reading Goals: Iâve read over 50 books annually for the past several years. While many business books were inspiring, most didnât lead to action. Instead, I built a habit of consumption without creation.
The common thread? Achieving goals can bring temporary satisfaction and that external âattaboyâ gold star, but without the right mindset, they rarely lead to meaningful transformation.
Introducing Presence Over Perfection
Weâve all heard the phrase progress over perfection, but even that can feel like a hamster wheel. What if we focused instead on presence over perfection?
Presence is about slowing down and making intentional, mindful choices aligned with your goals and values. Itâs about celebrating small wins and learning from the moments when things donât go as planned.
Examples of Presence in Action:
Observing the desire to snack in the evening and pausing to check in with your body to feel where itâs coming from.
Saying ânoâ to an overcommitment, prioritizing space in your calendar.
Taking five deep breaths and waiting to respond when youâre tempted to react emotionally.
Presence helps us trust ourselves to make better choices moment by moment, which builds confidence and fosters lasting habits.
Shifting Focus: A New Way of Being
What if growth wasnât something you achieve, but something you embody?
This mindset shift involves stepping away from the hustle and content treadmill mentality, and embracing intentionality and self-awareness. For me, this has meant adopting a guiding principle:
âI Keep My Promises to Myself.â
By focusing on small, meaningful actions, Iâve learned to trust my ability to growânot through rigid goals, but through mindful, intentional choices.
Building Self-Trust Through Small Promises
Self-trust isnât built overnight. Itâs cultivated through consistency and honoring small commitments. Hereâs how you can start:
1. Choose One Small, Daily Practice
Pick something manageable and aligned with your values, like journaling for five minutes, stretching each morning, or saying a daily affirmation.
2. Celebrate Your Mindful Moments
Acknowledge when you make choices on purpose (with presence) that align with your goals. These small victories reinforce your ability to show up for yourself.
3. Reflect Without Judgment
If you miss a day or make a choice you regret, donât spiral into guilt. Use it as an opportunity to observe and recalibrate.
The Mindset of Presence: Creating Lasting Impact
When we focus on presence, we make room for intentional growth that sticks. Hereâs how this mindset shift can transform different areas of your life:
In Business: Presence allows you to prioritize meaningful tasks and make decisions aligned with your vision, rather than getting caught up in busywork or a shiny marketing campaign for something you donât need.
In Personal Life: It deepens your connection to yourself and your loved ones, creating more harmony and fulfillment. More presence and less reactivity builds trust with your household relationships.
In Health: Small, mindful habits create sustainable changes that arenât tied to arbitrary goals.
Practical Strategies for Embracing Presence
Here are actionable ways to incorporate presence over perfection into your daily life:
Set Daily Intentions
Each morning, set a simple intention like, âI will be kind to myself todayâ or âI will pause before responding to stress.â
Use Mindful Pausing
When faced with a decision, take a deep breath and ask, âDoes this align with my values?â
Journal for Reflection
Use this prompt to build self-awareness: What is one small thing I can do every day to build trust in myself?
Track Your Promises
Create a habit tracker to record the small promises you keep. This visual cue reinforces your progress and builds confidence.
Slowing Down to Speed Up
Slowing down can feel counterintuitive in a fast-paced world, but itâs a game-changer for personal growth. When you slow down, you:
Gain clarity about what truly matters.
Avoid burnout by aligning actions with energy levels.
Strengthen your ability to stay present and mindful.
An Invitation to Shift Your Mindset
If this resonates with you, it might be time to rethink your approach to growth and success. Letâs explore how presence and self-trust can transform your mindset, personal life, and business.
âĄïž See how we can work together to align your business and personal growth with your values and energy.
Conclusion
Letting go of traditional goal-setting isnât about giving upâitâs about creating space for a life that feels aligned and fulfilling. By focusing on presence over perfection and keeping promises to yourself, you can make choices that support long-term personal growth.
So, take a deep breath, pause, and trust yourself. One mindful moment at a time, youâre building the life you want.
Did this post help shift your mindset? Share more in the comments below! —ïž
