Trusting the Process: How to Embrace Big Life Transitions
Introduction: Why Big Transitions Feel So Hard
Big decisions don’t happen overnight. They take time—sometimes years—to fully form, and that’s completely okay. Whether it’s changing careers, moving to a new city, or pivoting in business, the process of deciding can feel long and drawn out. But what often catches us off guard is what comes next: the waiting period between deciding and fully stepping into the new reality—a phase that can feel uncertain, uncomfortable, and slow.
For me, leaving my federal government job was a three-year process, even after I knew deep down I wanted out. Taking on a dream role as a social media manager for Megadeth took six months of careful planning before I made the leap. And when I realized in 2020 that I had grown beyond the Pinterest niche, it still took time before I fully removed those services from my business. The truth is, I’ve never been someone who makes impulsive, drastic changes. But once I decide I’m done, I want to be onto the next thing immediately. And that’s where the challenge begins.
No one really talks about the phase after making a decision but before fully arriving at the next stage—the time where you’re in between identities, careers, or homes. The messy middle is where most of the real work happens. And while it may feel frustrating and uncertain, it’s also where growth and transformation truly take place.
The Messy Middle: What It Is and Why It’s Uncomfortable
The messy middle is the space between where you were and where you want to be. It’s that limbo period where you’ve made a choice to move forward, but you’re not yet seeing the full results. It’s the job you’ve quit but haven’t replaced yet. The city you’ve moved to but haven’t found your community in. The business pivot that’s exciting but still unproven.
This phase requires patience, trust, and resilience, three things that don’t always come naturally. It’s uncomfortable because progress often feels slow, and results aren’t immediate. You may second-guess your decision, wonder if you made the right call, or feel frustrated by the gap between where you are and where you thought you’d be by now.
Starting over—whether in career, location, or business—often means being a beginner again. And for many of us, that’s the hardest part. We’re used to being competent, skilled, and in control, and the messy middle forces us to sit in uncertainty and trust that we will figure it out. It’s a process that demands not just action, but also faith in our ability to adapt.
But here’s the thing: every major transformation happens in this uncomfortable space. The messy middle isn’t a sign that things aren’t working—it’s proof that you’re evolving.
Lessons Learned from Navigating Major Life Shifts
Big transitions don’t happen in a straight line. They require both patience and decisive action, and finding the right balance between the two is one of the hardest parts of navigating change. Over the years, I’ve learned a few key lessons about making major life shifts—lessons that have helped me move through uncertainty with more confidence.
01. Decisions Take Time, But Action Requires Momentum
I’ve always taken my time when making big decisions. But once I commit, I want to move forward immediately. That’s where the challenge lies—bridging the gap between slow decision-making and the need for fast execution.
Taking years to leave my federal job: I knew for three years that I wanted out, but I stayed because of security, uncertainty, and overanalyzing what was next.
Six months of planning before taking the leap into managing social media for Megadeth: I weighed every pro and con before making the move.
Pivoting away from Pinterest: I recognized in mid-2020 that I had outgrown the niche, but fully stepping away took even longer.
The problem? Over-planning can hold you back. When you spend too much time analyzing and preparing, you delay the momentum that actually moves you forward.
How to avoid getting stuck in over-planning mode:
✔ Give yourself a deadline for making a final decision.
✔ Focus on the first step rather than the whole journey.
✔ Accept that some uncertainty is part of the process.
02. Opportunities Arise When You Create Space for Them
Sometimes, we hold onto old roles, identities, or business offerings long past their expiration date because they feel safe. But the reality is that clinging to the past can block new opportunities from coming in.
One of the biggest shifts I made was removing all Pinterest-related offers from my website a few months ago. I didn’t know what would happen, but I knew I had outgrown that space. And as soon as I let go, unexpected opportunities opened up—women started reaching out, asking me to speak about building a business that fits your life (not the other way around).
Lesson learned: You can’t always see the next opportunity until you make space for it.
Key takeaway: If you feel stuck, ask yourself—what am I still holding onto that no longer aligns with where I want to go?
Ways to create space for new opportunities:
✔ Stop offering services or products that no longer excite you.
✔ Remove outdated labels or identities you’ve outgrown.
✔ Say no to projects that don’t align with your long-term vision.
03. You Will Always Figure It Out
If I could go back and tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: No matter what happens, you will figure it out. Because I always have.
We often fear change because we don’t have a clear roadmap. But the truth is, certainty is an illusion. No matter how much we plan, unexpected challenges will arise. The real key to navigating life transitions isn’t about eliminating uncertainty—it’s about trusting your ability to handle whatever comes next.
How to develop confidence in uncertainty:
✔ Look at your past wins. You’ve successfully navigated challenges before—why would this be any different?
✔ Embrace a growth mindset. Instead of fearing failure, see every challenge as a learning experience.
✔ Take small steps forward. You don’t need the full plan—just focus on the next right move.
How to Move Through the Messy Middle with Confidence
If you’ve ever searched "Why does change feel uncomfortable?" or "How do I handle a major life transition?"—you’re not alone. The messy middle is one of the hardest parts of any big shift, whether you’re pivoting your career, changing your business direction, or making a major life decision.
But what if, instead of fearing this phase, you used it as a time for growth and new opportunities? The key to moving forward in life isn’t about eliminating uncertainty—it’s about learning to trust yourself along the way.
01. Reframe Uncertainty as Growth
One of the biggest reasons life transitions feel hard is that they come with so much unknown. But uncertainty isn’t a sign that you’re failing—it’s proof that you’re growing. If everything felt easy, you wouldn’t be evolving.
Feeling stuck after a big decision? That’s normal. Growth always comes with discomfort.
Career pivots or business shifts feel risky? That’s because you’re stepping into something new, and your brain craves familiarity.
Worried you made the wrong choice? You won’t know for sure until you take action, and clarity comes with movement.
How to shift your mindset:
✔ When doubt creeps in, remind yourself: This is me growing.
✔ Instead of fearing uncertainty, ask: What is this phase teaching me?
✔ Accept that the messy middle is part of every great success story.
02. Spot Opportunities by Staying Open and Adaptable
If you’re feeling stuck in life or business, you might be looking at the wrong doors. Instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, create space for new ones to appear.
When I pivoted away from Pinterest marketing, I had no idea what would come next. But the moment I removed those services from my website, I suddenly started getting speaking requests from women who wanted to learn about building a business that fits their life. That opportunity wouldn’t have come if I had clung to my old identity.
What to do when you feel lost in life? Look at what’s naturally showing up for you.
How to navigate career change uncertainty? Stay open to unexpected opportunities.
Why does change feel uncomfortable? Because your next step may not look like your last one.
How to stay open to new possibilities:
✔ Let go of what no longer aligns with your goals.
✔ Pay attention to what people naturally ask you for help with.
✔ Don’t force old paths—trust that new doors will open.
03. Embrace Being a Beginner—Because That’s Where the Magic Happens
One of the hardest parts of navigating change is feeling like a beginner again. But every career pivot, business shift, or life transition starts with this phase.
Feeling lost after a big decision? It’s because you’re still learning.
Worried about failing? Every expert was once a beginner.
Afraid to take the next step? Confidence comes from action, not overthinking.
The fastest way to move forward in life is to embrace the beginner phase rather than resist it.
How to step into the next phase with confidence:
✔ Accept that learning curves are normal.
✔ Celebrate small wins—they add up over time.
✔ Remind yourself: I’ve figured things out before, and I’ll do it again.
Conclusion: Trust the Process
The messy middle is uncomfortable, but it’s where transformation happens. It’s where you shed old identities, build new skills, and step into the next version of yourself.
If you’ve ever searched "How do I move forward after a big decision?" or "How do I trust the process?"—you’re not alone. The messy middle is where transformation happens. It’s frustrating, slow, and often uncomfortable. But it’s also where you become the next version of yourself.
The key to handling major life transitions is to remember: You will always figure it out. Even if you don’t see the full path yet, you’ve successfully navigated change before—and you’ll do it again.
✔ If you feel stuck, take one small step forward.
✔ If you feel uncertain, remember that clarity comes from action.
✔ If you’re doubting yourself, look back at all the times you’ve overcome uncertainty before.
You’re not lost. You’re growing. And the next step will reveal itself when you’re ready.
Next Steps:
If this blog resonated with you, share it with someone else who might be struggling with a big transition. And if you’ve recently navigated a major life shift, I’d love to hear—what’s the biggest lesson you learned from your messy middle?
FAQs: The Messy Middle: How to Navigate Life’s Big Changes
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Big life changes feel difficult because they involve uncertainty, loss of familiarity, and stepping into the unknown. Our brains crave stability, so when we enter the “messy middle” of a transition, it triggers discomfort. However, this phase is also where the most growth happens.
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Feeling stuck after a decision is normal, especially when results don’t happen instantly. The key is to take small, intentional steps forward instead of waiting for the perfect moment. Momentum builds confidence, and action leads to clarity.
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Instead of fearing uncertainty, reframe it as a sign of growth. Recognize that every major success story includes moments of doubt. Focus on what you can control today, and trust that clarity will come with action.
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Starting over can feel frustrating, but it’s also an opportunity for reinvention. Instead of focusing on what you’ve lost, shift your mindset to what you’re gaining—new skills, experiences, and possibilities that wouldn’t exist without this transition.
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There’s no set timeline for navigating change—it depends on the person and situation. The best way to move through this phase is to stay open to new opportunities, take consistent action, and trust that you will figure it out just like you have in the past.
